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| Song of the Meteorite |
| 04.24.04 (8:51 pm) [edit] |
We practiced for a long time yesterday. Chuck, the drumming meteorite, and Groves, the bass playing Catfish who wears sweat pants and a tuxedo jacket, are now without a doubt the most capable rhythm section in the history of rock music. My guitar playing sounds great because the guitar that I have is magic and plays by itself. My voice, though not magic, is proving that it is a decent vehicle for the delivery of the lyrics that come to me mysteriously every time I think of the funnel cake that I last saw by the edge of the quarry yesterday.
Today, I decided that Groves, Chuck and I were now ready to take our act on the road. So, we filled some jugs of water for Groves, picked up our instruments and headed down the road. We hadn’t walked too long when we came to a town with a great big building that had a sign that said “Thrum-Cap and Coil’s: Live Rock and Roll Every Night”. Chuck, Groves and I all turned somersaults in unison when we saw it.
We went inside and were met by Mr. Thrum-Cap and Mr. Coil.
“Hello” I said. “We are a rock and roll band and couldn’t help noticing your sign outside. We thought that since we are in a rock and roll band, and that your establishment features live rock and roll, that we might be able to play rock and roll live at your club.
The two men looked at each other.
“Ok” said Coil, “Let’s hear what ya got”
Chuck quickly lit into his skins and Groves wasn’t too far behind him, laying down a groove like the ones in those old slot car race tracks. I joined in and began singing.
Mr. Thrum-Cap plunged his fingers in his ears and pointed at us and laughed. Mr. Coil signaled for us to stop playing.
“Boy, you can’t sing worth the price of a paper clip. And I don’t mean no box of paper clips neither. I mean just one. One of them little ones.” said Mr. Coil
“Get out of our club” Said Mr. Thrum-cap. “Your singing smells like a rotten avocado gone bad in a tupperware container and microwaved in vinegar”.
The two continued to point at us and laugh. I looked at Groves, and then turned to look at Chuck, but he was gone. I then noticed that he had jumped up and gone through the roof.
“What the hey” Said Mr. Coil
“Y’all are gonna pay to fix that there hole” Said Mr. Thrum-Cap
At this point we all heard a faint whistling sound that grew louder and louder until there was a giant
KERBAMMMOWAMMMOBLOOMOPOW! !!!!!! As Chuck, the meteorite, came bursting through the roof on fire and certainly not happy with Mr. Thrum-Cap and Mr. Coil.
Chuck landed with another KERBAMMMOWAMMMOBLOOMOPOW! !!!!!!
After the explosion all you could see was smoke, and when it all cleared, any fool could see that Thrum-Cap and Coil’s was completely demolished.
“That’ll teach you to make fun of our singer.” Said Chuck.
“Yeah” said Groves.
The police and the fire truck came. It took a while to put out the fire.
“Arrest this Man” Said Mr. Coil, pointing to Chuck.
“That’s not a man, that’s a meteor” Said the police officer. “ I can’t arrest a meteor. Besides, I heard that you were making fun of the way this fellow sings. That’s not very nice. If anybody should be arrested, it’s you.”
We taught the police officer how to do the robot squirrel ( a dance that goes along with one of our songs) and then hit the road, looking for the next town to play in.
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